Susan versus Brain.

I am really tired. There. I could leave it like that. Who isn’t tired these days? I have been asleep but I’m surprised I’ve even managed a little bit. I have a terribly over active brain. I find it quite hard to switch off from all the mundane crap that invariably passes through my sub conscious. I doubt I’m not the only one who lies awake thinking of the end of the universe and worries about black holes but then my brain wanders off and then gives imaginary lectures to non existent students. Barking bloody mad. That’s the symptom of being an argumentative know it all. What I won’t say out loud, will get said in some detail in my head until I’m satisfied I’ve put the world to rights. Again the problem is I’ve got opinions on everything. I can’t read a newspaper article without taking sides, especially once I’ve read the usually vitriolic replies from other readers.

I feel it’s my duty to watch the news but I always feel deflated after watching reports from the Middle East and Syria. It’s very hard to watch but to sweep it under the carpet is much worse. I know I can’t do anything about it and if I’m being honest I don’t fully understand the whys and wherefores but that doesn’t stop me thinking about it when I should be switching off. I think it’s because we consume so much news and information now, we can’t filter it out. But saying that I was like this when I was younger, I remember watching reports on the news from the first Gulf war and lying awake fretting about bombs and nuclear weapons. Blimey! I was 10 I think and having those sort of thoughts. It’s a wonder I’ve slept properly since!

I’ll read through Facebook and have to stop myself sometimes in telling people to get a grip or stop being so bloody stupid. These are my colleagues, friends and family. On the whole I enjoy Facebook but some people really do annoy me. I wouldn’t say it gives me sleepness nights but I might read a post, then the comments and come to the conclusion that some people should not be allowed the internet. I’m not picking on anyone particular, I’m not the internet police but I find myself giving them a ticking off in my head for the stuff they are putting out there.

Add in the everyday things that go through my brain, work, kids, family, money and health I am seriously concerned I’ll never sleep again! One of my solutions is writing this blog. Getting some of the crap off my chest in the form of rants. But I worry about that too. What if someone reads this and thinks I’m talking about them, what if people read this and think I’m bonkers or I hope people are enjoying it and don’t think I’m a crap writer. Ah bollocks. Perhaps if you do recognise yourself, sort it out. I am bonkers but I’m quite comfortable with that. And I know I’m not the best writer out there, I don’t pretend to be.

So in conclusion I may have a problem switching the old noggin off. In one way I’m glad some of the shit that flows through my brain isn’t connected to X Factor, Big Brother and the TOWIE. I couldn’t cope with more ammunition. Now excuse me whilst I dissect the latest Doctor Who, make numerous lists in my head and count the hairs that are falling out of overworked stressed head!

2 thoughts on “Susan versus Brain.

  1. I have too much going on in my life to judge anyone for their views on what class we are but I cant say working class anymore as ive retired, and as I now do voluntary work someone had the nerve to say its a very middle class thing to do so either way I am what I am. lol loved your blog Susan x

  2. I agree, I have too much to worry about (like my house falling to pieces lol) to be judging everyone around me. But unfortunately we all do it, even on a sub conscious level. Good luck with the volunteering, the world needs more like you Anna. X

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